Put on your game face, game pants and pluck your game eyebrows. You are planning your child’s 5th birthday party. Dude, you CANNOT screw this up. This is the most important birthday in your child’s life, since their last birthday. This may also be the first birthday party where you invite your child’s friend or classmates. If this doesn’t go well, they could be a social pariah until they’re at least 18 and possibly longer. When your child is living at your house when they’re 50, at least you’ll know who to blame, UNLESS you knock it out of the park. Fortunately, I have the perfect check-list for your child’s 5th birthday.
I’m certain you can CRUSH this birthday party with these tips because I did. And by “I” I mean my wife did an incredible job and I watched, took notes and stayed the hell out of the way unless I was instructed to get in the way. You should view this as more of a checklist as I’ve identified all of the most important things to consider. Use this in good health and may God have mercy on your soul if you screw it up!
Should there be a theme / How do I choose a theme for this party?
In my humble opinion, when planning your child’s 5th birthday party, there should be a theme. So far this year, I’ve seen Mario, Bluey and Paw Patrol themes and we went with Blaze and the Monster Machines for my daughter. We let my daugher pick from her streaming favorites and Blaze won out. We had some streamers, a large poster and plates, so we definitely didn’t go crazy, but it seemed like enough to call it “themed.”
Party City makes it simple and cheap. Here’s my “Bluey themed birthday party” (more on how awesome Bluey is) search:
Who should I invite to the birthday party?
We made it really simple and invited my daughter’s entire pre-school class. Some of our in-town family stopped by to help out, so we hit the school/family two-fer. It was nice to see some of the kids my daughter talks about incessantly when she returns home. And because I’d never seen them before, I was also surprised by the gender of two children who have androgenous names.
Should I host the party at home or rent a space?
This year, we’ve gone to parties at a:
- Bowling Alley
- Medieval themed indoor playground
- Rec Center gymnasium with all kinds of fun gymnastics equipment
We hosted at our house. I’m sure I’m biased, but I actually enjoyed our in-home party most. The kids don’t tend to interact as much in those other spaces as they’re independently bowling, on playgound equipment or tumbling into a ball pit. The in-home party allows the kids more time to play with one another. The extra added benefit that I didn’t even consider was that I saved a bunch of money by having it at home.
What games should we play?
We played a few games and the kids seemed to enjoy each (to varying degrees):
- Pin the tail on the unicorn – The kids really loved this one. It also afforded us the most entertaining part of the day from the parent’s perspective. The blind-folded children were nowhere near putting the horn in the right spot, no matter how close I put them to the unicorn. But there was one 5-year-old child, who insisted his blind-fold was in place, and proceeded to walk 10 feet forward and put the horn in the 100% perfect spot. He refused to admit he could see and then he demanded a prize. He’ll be great on the stand one day.
- Freeze Dance – The three kids of twelve that danced really enjoyed this. The other nine just wanted it to be over because they didn’t want to dance in front of other people.
- The Floor is Lava – This was another hit (use this song) Kids were running and jumping on every piece of furniture in the house. I probably should have thrown a helmet on some of the less coordinated ones, but fortunately we got out of there with no injuries.
- Bingo – We used a Bingo board that had pictures rather than numbers and the kids loved it.
- Scavenger Hunt – This was the belle of the party game ball. My wife came up with 10 clues in total and we used them for both teams, color-coded for each team. Clue Example: Where does Cece (my daughter’s name) brush her teeth? The teams would then run up to our bathroom to find their next clue. An adult played with each team to read the clues. We changed up the order for each team, so the teams weren’t running into one another. If you can believe it, the “pin the horn on the unicorn” cheater tried to cheat again. Fun stuff.
What kind of food should I serve?
Pizza, juice boxes, cookies, cake, ice cream. You’re not trying to raise these children with healthy eating habits. The unspoken rule is to fill these kids with as much garbage as possible before sending them home. Well not really, but if you can’t splurge at a birthday party, when can you?
What other birthday party accessories do I need?
We gave away some very simple gift bags as a parting gift. They had things like pencils, erasers, a little bit of candy, a noisemaker, a weird squishy animal thing and a yo-yo. I don’t think it really matters what you pick up from the dollar store or FiveBelow, because the kids are just happy to take something home.
Can I get angry at children that aren’t my own?
This question surfaced in my brain multiple times during the party. I think I settled on having the right to speak sternly to children that aren’t behaving and only using the F word if absolutely necessary. It is very funny to see children interact in these situations and try to model out how what kind of teenagers they’ll become / who you need to look out for. These 5 year olds were all extremely sweet, but if you’re cheating at pin the horn on the unicorn, how many months is it until you start an alt-coin crypto ponzi-scheme? Outside of the cheating, the second best thing that happened is that I got to watch all of these children eat. I also got to regret that I didn’t cover the walls and floor in an elaborate disposable tarp system. I’m certain that at least half the room eats their dinner from a trough at home and I’m also really judging those children’s parents at drop-off. I’m kidding of course, except not really.
There’s your check-list for planning your child’s 5th birthday party. If you hit all of these items, I can guarantee that in 120 minutes, you’ll have some kids leaving your house happy, with a couple gifts, covered head to toe in vanilla ice cream.