NBA playoffs and parenting…Can NBA basketball players break the steretype that you can’t be an effective employee AND primary care giver?
Many of us have been forced into parenting while working for a whole host of reasons. Maybe the daycare celebrates Flag Day privately and closed up shop for the day. Maybe your little one is sick and you’re the 1 in 25 parent that actually cares whether their child infects other children with whatever viral strain they’ve picked up this week. Or maybe you have your child home with you all the time.
There was quite the to-do about a CEO suggesting that people who work, while being a primary care-giver for a child, can’t possibly to do either job to the best of their ability. Putting aside the extenuating circumstances for why you might be attempting this balance and speaking from my own experience, I’d probably agree with that CEO. I am a much worse parent and employee when I’m forced into doing both working and parenting. But I’m a simple, average of average talent, so maybe this isn’t surprising.
And here’s where I take this article in a very weird direction. I’ve been watching a lot of NBA playoff basketball. You don’t get the feeling that any of the people playing that game are average. So it follows VERY LOGICALLY, if there was a human being that could juggle working and being a primary caregiver, it would be an NBA player. But what would that even look like? Fortunately, god, Dave Microsoft Jr. and DALL-E have given me the means to show you what it would look like. Here’s a peek at what it would look like if the 4 remaning NBA playoff teams were forced, like you and I on occassion, to work and parent simultaneously.
AI has become the world’s most foremost email and college application essay writer, so producing images of NBA players seamlessly melding their careers with child-care should be a simple task. The pictures below prove very clearly that is the case. Just as I suspected, talented NBA players make it look simple to exceling at your career and be a loving, dedicated caregiver towards your children. Let’s look at a few examples:
The Sixers recently exited the playoffs, but that’s clearly not because they were trying to win an NBA championship while caring for children. This thumbless-man is allowing his child to participate freely, creating a structure of both safety, structure and learning, just like they tell you in the baby books.
You’ll see this recurring theme appear in several other photos, but this man isn’t letting his giant baby with his mess of fingers get in the way of his professional dreams. “I’m going to the basket and I’ll teach you everything along the way,” says number flormp.
The MVP shows you can have it all, a successful career and being there every step of the way for your child.
This isn’t exactly how I was taught to hold a baby, but if you’re trying to get past Jimmy Butler, you’ll need to do whatever it takes. What a great example for this little one.
“I know you don’t WANT to wear a hat, but it’s cold outside it it’s my responsibility to keep you warm and safe,” says this Celtic as he models behavior for his marshmallow-foot child.
It looks like Jimmy Butler has a future NBA star on his hands. And speaking of hands, you shouldn’t feel bad about never being able to draw them, because AI is completely confused as well.
According to AI, this is also Jimmy Butler, presumably with another one of his children, showing us that he’s an old-school parent that’s not afraid to give a little tough love when it’s needed.
Sometimes, even if you’re tired after a long 38 minutes of court time, you need to go the extra mile and grow a third arm to ensure your child has the care it needs and AI has PERFECTLY CAPTURED such a moment.
Yet another example of that famous HEAT CULTURE. Unlike some backwards NBA teams, they allow both the husband and wife to be on the court at the same time, rather than breaking up the family into different units.
“Yes, I know you want the ball, but daddy is trying to dunk on Jamal Murray. How about I take my turning dunking on Jamal Murray and then it can be your turn. Excuse me? Do you need a time-out mister.”
Uh ohhhhh, was that gas or someone need a change?
The GOAT debate will forever rage on, but there’s no way Michael Jordan was getting this hands on with any of his children.
Here’s the AI letting us in on a heart-warming pre-game moment for Nikola Jokic and his son. It’s hard to tell whether he’s more excited for parenting than the game!
This is the first player that I’ve seen that’s properly supporting the baby’s head will getting to the rack. The fundamentals can take you a long way people.
Finally, we know that an organization’s culture starts at the top. If Adam Silver chose to focus on just his career as a commissioner, the rest of the NBA would feel license to do the same. Fortunately, the commish practices what he preaches:
AI has settled it folks, you really can have a wildy successful career, where you give everything youv’e got to your employer, while being the primary care-giver for your child. You just need to be an incredibly skilled NBA athlete to do so. You and I might just need to pick one.